I have cried countless tears over the last two months. These last few days have been drowned in tears cried out of anger, fear, misunderstanding, etc. They have been covered up with desperate screams forced out during car rides and while sitting on my kitchen floor. They have been filled with hours of silence that I have declared myself brain-dead, because I feel in those moments I have burned the belts that drive the thoughts round and round in my mind.
But, it is in these moments that I hear Him whisper. I hear the soft fullness of his voice prompting me to keep going. His soft words echo in my ears leaving the deafening message to replay.
"My Child, your lacrimatory is here in my hands. You question my presence as if I have ever left. Yet, I have been here and I have all of the tears that have ever fallen in my hands. I have collected the tears in the once buckets, then the once turned barrels, to the now turned tubs, to the future turned oceans. My child I have every single drop, accounted for, here in my hands. When did my presence and promise become questionable to you? When did I ever forsake you? My Child, where are you? What has stolen your focus? The screams you feel have been silenced have not slipped from my knowledge. My child, your screams have echoed through my ears. Your pain has not gone unnoticed. I have not gone deaf My Child. But, when did my promises begin to deafen?
And with that, I remember who He is and with that, I remember who I am.